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Post by HappyMaMa on Jan 5, 2008 22:26:13 GMT 7
We might have been to the same disclosure talk at Fei yue! haha!! we attended one too but i cannot remember when was it. Anyway, workingmummy, the purpose of setting up this forum is really for adoptive parents like us to give one another support and share our thoughts on issues that are unique to us.
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Post by workingmummy on Jan 7, 2008 8:00:56 GMT 7
Hi HappyMaMa, We attended the disclosure talk in 2005, can't remember which month exactly, it's a few months after we send in our China Adoption application and a few months before we got our princess home (she is a Singaporean)
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Post by HappyMaMa on Jan 7, 2008 22:02:54 GMT 7
We attended in 2006...after we have our little Jaimie.
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Post by HappyMaMa on Jan 7, 2008 22:20:55 GMT 7
Just to share....
Recently i have been teaching jaimie that "babies come from mommies' stomach" (since my sister in law is pregnant, might as well use this opportunity to tell her). then i told her "jaimie comes from mommy's heart because mommy's stomach is damaged (huai le)".
Now, when i ask her "where does jaimie come from?" she will touch my chest and said "heart". that day, she surprised me by offering the additional information "mama duzi (stomach) huai le (damaged)". i am so touched!!!
We have been teaching her to say the phrase "i love you" too. so we always tell her we love her, and get her to tell us that she loves us too. she displays a very affectionate expression when she says "i love you", and sometimes rest her head on my shoulder when she says this phrase. I think she understood what it meant.
that's what we do-- assure her of our love again and again.
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Post by workingmummy on Jan 8, 2008 8:11:49 GMT 7
What a coincident, my SIL also pregnant and she will give birth in early March.. We also tell Eunice that gugu's stomach inside got baby and let her touch gugu's stomach ;D haha.. but we never thought about telling her that mummy's stomach is damaged I did try your method by telling her that she came from mummy's heart, I tried to ask her where she come from and told her that is from mummy's heart... she only say the last word "heart" Your Jaimie is smarter than my Eunice... wow... she can even say out a short sentence my Eunice only know how to play... OMG! before we enter the playground she already so excited, can't wait to run ;D whenever we want to teach her something or those things that we have been teaching her but she still couldn't master it example we have been teaching her to say "I love you" long time ago, but till now she only can follow word by word "I" and "you" only!! what a shame!!
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Post by HappyMaMa on Jan 8, 2008 21:12:38 GMT 7
this "come from heart" didnt come from me. it was a brilliant idea from my colleague who has an adopted girl herself. i have been trying to get her to join this forum but she is really not a IT person... so... let me pester her again!!! haha!! Jaimie develops quite fast in terms of speech. at 2 mths old, she had a "conversation" with my hubby. i kid you not!! We had it on video! Clement carried her in his arms and talked to her. asking her qns like "ni yomeiyou tinghua ah?" "ni youmeiyou heshui ah?" and jaimie responded "you ah!" after every qn asked!!!! ok... OT liow. and enough of showing off. ;D I didnt let Jaimie touched my sister in law's stomach... i am not sure if she minds people touching her stomach.. and i didnt ask her anyway.... ahhh.. never mind.. another chance coming up. we have a close couple friend expecting their 2nd child. perhaps can ask the mother to let jaimie touch her stomach just for once! What i was going to say is.... although eunice is not saying the full sentence, at least she got the keyword correct. and is accepting and learning this concept that she didnt come from mommy's stomach. If you have any other ideas on how to let them learn and accept their identities, share with me too!! ;D
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Post by workingmummy on Jan 9, 2008 9:47:13 GMT 7
OIC... what a good idea your colleague had.. Yes Pls! We need more support in this forum I was quite lost when I decided to adopt a child as I don't have sufficient info or any friends with experience in adoption Some of my close friends don't even support my adoption decision and until today they still can ask me why don't I keep trying for our own
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Post by Mayday on Jan 9, 2008 9:57:17 GMT 7
The road to becoming an adoptive parents as well as the subsequent journey that we embark upon as adoptive parents are unique experiences that not everyone who hasn't gone through similar situations could understand fully. That is why we're glad to have found someone to share and learn from here!
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Post by HappyMaMa on Jan 9, 2008 20:48:31 GMT 7
I have friends who keep asking me NOT to disclose the child's identity to her.... which i totally cannot agree.
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Post by workingmummy on Jan 10, 2008 10:43:50 GMT 7
actually the disclosure talk that we attended at Fei Yue had influenced us a lot if we didn't go for the talk I think we also will not want to disclose her identity I believe this is a very natural behaviour although my mum and my friends are not very supportive in our disclosure decidsion but both me and my hubby are very sure that we WILL definitely disclose to her
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Post by HappyMaMa on Jan 11, 2008 21:45:50 GMT 7
ya... the rationale of disclosing makes a lot of sense.
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